The New Reality for Girls

One of the easiest and most difficult, best and worst aspects of Camp Nakanawa is that it is a place that is all about girls. It is a place that girls can be themselves, away from the influences that exist in their everyday lives. It is a place that we can ALL get away from those petty, yet grueling pressures of the real world.

Imagine a place ……where girls can really be themselves. Nakanawa is that place. The article (which is summarized at the end of this section) warns us as counselors to be careful about our words and our messages when it comes to body image. One of the long-standing traditions at Nakanawa was the “three bite rule” at meals. (the rule was that every person had to eat at least three bites of every food offered in the dining hall.) Well, based upon research telling us never to make food an “issue” or battle, we have modified that charge. Instead, we suggest that every child try the food. We suggest that three bites is a great way to give it a try. But we don’t hold the camper to this rule. Another “tradition: that we no longer do is the weekly (and somewhat public) weigh-ins at the infirmary. Again, it is placing too much emphasis on the power of food.

So our message to you, our counselors is to be thoughtful in your discussions, and careful in your actions when modeling for young women. They will pick up on (and place importance on) every word you say.

The following section is a summary of key points from a wonderful article in Camping Magazine.

We all know that there is entirely too much focus on body image today. It’s everywhere. It is not just how their peers view them, but it is how they compare their bodies (at whatever age) to supermodels.

There is a danger in the “Cinderella Myth” in that girls become too dependent upon external validation which leads to massive insecurities. Attached to their camp application is the psychologist’s report defining the many “issues” that the camper is battling.

The good news….. and this is especially true at Nakanawa …..is that girls can find a new way of approaching their lives. Their experience at Nakanawa can help recreate a reality for girls in which they wake up every morning and feel good about themselves. They feel open to the many abundant possibilities available to them at camp. We, their counselors, need to teach them the mind-set to make this new Nakanawa reality their reality.

Early in the camp season, try this “new reality” conversation with your cabin. Start by saying: “Imagine a place where . . . “

You could completely trust every girl sitting with you today . . . for as long as you live.
You knew with total certainty that they would never hurt you intentionally.
If any of you ever had a problem, you would go to each other directly and resolve the problem.
They would never spread rumors about you, and would in fact squash rumors before it became gossip.
They would stick up for you.
They would always be honest with you.
They would never make comments about how fat your rear looks in those white shorts, or anything like that.
They would encourage you to be yourself, to take risks, and to accept you unconditionally.

And counselors, this is where you come in . . .

Be the role model! You need to live and demonstrate this new reality every day. It takes time. You need to teach them how to communicate positively. You need to remind your bunkies that they have a choice. And you need to ban any negative comments about each other’s bodies. Yep! You need to intervene each and every time they say something negative about their own bodies. And this includes you, too. Don’t say negatives about your own body!
Go the distance! You need to be the strong, mature, assertive woman who are willing to intervene [without hesitation] the moment they get off track. Intervene every time something comes up. Be persistent and consistant. It is never OK to be hurtful to another girl or to be negative toward ourselves.
Empower girls! Point out the great things that are working. Encourage the older girls to support the younger girls. Make this your culture. Focus on the positives.

You will be amazed at this new “reality” that you can help create for young girls. It can combat the societal pulls of the supermodels …..we know …..because we’ve seen it in action year after year.